By Doc Elder
Have you ever heard of Billy West? Probably not, but you’ve definitely heard Billy West. He is one of the most versatile voice actors of all time. He has voiced everything from the bee on the Honey Nut Cheerios commercials to Bugs Bunny in the movie Space Jam. He is truly ubiquitous.
Fascinating as always, Doc, but you promised us an update on your Final Four picks this week. I’m getting to that.
One of West’s greatest voice-over feats came from the classic television program The Ren & Stimpy Show. For those of you too young to remember, it was a cartoon show featuring a Chihuahua named Ren and a cat called Stimpy. Amazingly, West voiced both of those characters.
Cool, but you’re probably still not satisfied. Read on.
The two would have a weekly misadventure, and, at least once per episode, Stimpy would do something that would drive Ren berserk. At that point, Ren would look at Stimpy and say, “You…stoopid…iiiiiiidiiiiotttt.” Well, I’m a stupid idiot because I was horribly wrong in my Final Four picks.
How did things go so terribly wrong?
First, Virginia came up short against Michigan State. I’ll be honest with you: When I found out that President Barack Obama had picked the Spartans to win it all, I wished that I could take back my pick of Virginia for that region. Love him or hate him, one thing you can say about the 44th guy to occupy the White House is that he’s been pretty money in his NCAA picks. As it turns out, I wouldn’t have gotten much further in that region if I had picked MSU, as they too got bounced. I guess left-handed basketball aficionados (that would include yours truly and Mr. Obama) were just not destined to get things right in that region.
Second, Louisville lost the bragging rights in the Bluegrass State. I guess everybody who had Kentucky as the No. 1 team in the nation way back in November knew how good the Wildcats were. I frankly underestimated how well their youngsters would play on the big stage.
Third, Arizona bit the dust (good metaphor if you’ve ever seen a haboob out there). I’m sure if you’re a Wildcat fan, you’re thinking that the zebras jobbed you on the push-off call at the end of your loss to Wisconsin. I’ll say this: If you’ve ever refereed a game, you have a right to critique the officiating. If you’ve never blown a whistle, it’s way tougher to call a game in real time than it is with the benefit of time to reflect and watch a replay. Still, it was a tough loss for our neighbors to the west.
OK, I saved my best for last. I picked Florida to advance, and they have. And since I picked the Gators to win it all, I still might end up looking relatively smart. If not, you can just call me Stimpy the next time you see me, but try to do it with the accent that Billy West employed if you do. Deal?