By: Rev. David Wilson Rogers
The Bible is rich with beautiful comparisons of our relationship to God to the sanctity of marriage. This sacred connection between marital fidelity and God’s love provides a powerful illustration of how Christians may relate to our loving savior. Although there are many examples, perhaps one of the most beautiful comes from the 14th chapter of John’s Gospel.
Ancient Jewish marriage customs and traditions look nothing like modern weddings. Due to cultural and religious differences in our modern age, many of the First Century beliefs and customs may be offensive to modern ears, but they remain a vivid testimony to God’s love for all of us.
In the days of Jesus Christ a marriage was arranged by the fathers of both the groom and bride. Essentially, the bride was considered the property of her father until such time as the father representing a different family established a contract with her father to give her hand in marriage. The two men would establish a legal agreement that would stipulate the transfer of the girl from her father’s family to the groom’s family. The modern custom of daddy giving away his daughter at the formal wedding originates in this ancient practice. It means, the deal is sealed and final.
Although the term “betrothal” or “engagement” is used to refer to this legal contract, the bride and groom were considered legally bound in marriage at the signing of this agreement. The only exception was that they had not consummated the marriage or started to live together. To break this contract was the equivalent of divorce. In the case of adultery—particularly on the part of the female—the customary punishment was stoning.
After the formal betrothal, the bride would remain in her father’s home and the groom would return to his own father’s house in order to prepare for his new bride. Often this would involve building a new room onto his father’s house that would serve as the new home for him and his new family. After a period of time, the groom would return from his father’s house, consummate the marriage, and emerge from the marriage chamber to announce to the village that the couple was now fully married. Following a marriage feast in celebration of the new family, the groom would then take his bride back to his father’s house where he would remain as her husband and the two would raise a family.
In John 14, Jesus speaks prophetically about his departure in death. His words were spoken in the upper room on the night when he was betrayed. Eluding to the well-known marriage customs of his day, Jesus told the disciples he would be leaving for a time and returning to his father’s house—a place where there were many rooms. He was leaving to prepare a place for them in his father’s house. Then, in vivid marital imagery, Jesus continues to say that he will come again and take them to himself so that where he is, they will be also.
It is not accidental that in Revelation, John the gospel writer refers to the church as the Bride of Christ or that John the Baptizer refers to Jesus as the Bridegroom. Jesus understood himself as the one to whom the church was betrothed—the one to whom you and I are called to serve in fidelity and love.
In keeping with the ancient custom, Jesus paid a high price for his bride. Recognizing the cost of raising a daughter, as well as the value she had in the household as one who performed chores and household duties, the father would offer a bride price for his son’s betrothed. A portion of that bride price would then be given to the bride by her father as a dowry. The bride price paid by Jesus was the cross, leaving our dowry the gift of eternal life.
