Written by: Jennifer Greene
As a graduate student here at Eastern New Mexico University, and someone with mental health difficulties, I felt it might be beneficial to touch on the topic of self-care. As students and professionals, we all know the feeling of being stressed, anxious, or even worn down. Self-care is a way to combat these emotions and physical symptoms through acts of self-love and the practice of self-protection. The Oxford Dictionary describes self-care as the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, particularly during periods of stress. Anxiety and stress are things we all deal with at some time and to varying level of degrees. Being aware of the situations or stressors at hand is a good place to begin your self-care practice.
As a young professional, I constantly pushed myself to take care of my responsibilities and share the burdens of those I cared for or maybe worked with. This constantly tugged me in a multitude of directions leaving me conflicted, exhausted, and often worried about the circumstances of my personal and professional life. When I became aware of how much the anxieties were wearing on me, I knew I had to find some way to actively take control of my health. Have you ever heard the phrase, you cannot love someone unless you love yourself first or put your mask on before assisting others? Self-care is something we hear about, or maybe even discuss amongst ourselves. Yet, how many of us practice taking on the role of self-protection?
It took me years to figure out that taking care of myself first was the key solution to a lot of my overall stress. It took me some more time to find the right coping skills and practices that worked. It’s never too early and it’s never too late to become aware of your anxieties and practice caring for yourself amid them. Protecting yourself can come in various forms, and not every coping skill will benefit everyone. It can take time to find what works for you as an individual. For instance, my number one self-care practice is taking a hot bath and writing in my journal. Neither one of those works for my husband. Instead, he cares for himself by playing online games with his friends and fishing. There are so many options for coping, but it comes down to what makes you happy, and what helps calm you.
Sometimes self-care needs to be immediate. You may have been worked up by some bad family news, or the restaurant getting your order wrong after clarifying three different times. Some people may use breathing techniques or call a friend to vent as fast-acting skills that might help calm you down. Or maybe you’re dealing with a difficult relationship or a change in your career. These types of situations may take more time for self-care. You might need to schedule a few hours for yourself every week to focus on your enjoyment. Or take time out of each day to doodle for a bit and engage your inner child. Allowing yourself to be happy and caring for your well-being is a continuing practice. It doesn’t get better overnight, but with exercise, we grow and progress into better clarity regarding our stressors.
At times, the coping skills that worked for you before, fail to do so in the future. Therefore, being aware is the first step to providing self-care but having a list of skills that work for you specifically should be the next move you make. That way when you are anxious or worked up you can go to a list of options to work with. Another example of why one person needs multiple self-care options is because not all options are always available to you. When my car got vandalized at a concert a few years back, I had no way of taking a bath nor time to sit and write in my journal. In that instance, I chose to scream into a pillow. Distraught, I released all my worries into those muffled screams. Not every practice has to be a beautiful piece of art that you can later hang on your wall. Sometimes relieving stress can be just as intense and immersive as the anxieties you are facing.
Truth is we all face stress and anxieties differently, however, choosing to perform acts of self-care is something that can benefit everyone from Grandma Sally to 4-year-old, Bobby Jean. Nevertheless, it can be particularly helpful to young adults and working professionals of all kinds. Some of the benefits of self-care can be reducing or eliminating anxiety or stress, improving concentration, increasing happiness, minimizing frustration and anger, and even improving your energy levels. So, it’s not a small accomplishment to take control of your health and put yourself first. It’s a huge step, yet one that requires our attention due to the importance it has in our lives.
If you are dealing with stress or anxiety, big or small, try focusing on yourself, your joy, your satisfaction, and fulfillment for a bit. Find a coping skill that you can utilize to find those feelings of happiness and enjoyment. You may notice a difference in your overall mood immediately. Nevertheless, remember that self-care is a practice and something that must be worked on. Relationships are not always easy, especially the ones we have with ourselves. We can be our own worst critics. Continuing to practice self-protection and self-love will build up and benefits will come flowing through the cracks of your anxieties. Remember, it takes time to become good or well-versed at anything. Give yourself time to actively reduce your stress and create a safe place for you and your emotions to coexist.
We are currently broken down in our motorhome somewhere in the state of Utah. There are lots of reasons for my family and me to be anxious and worried right now. Knowing that self-care has the potential reduce my stress and provide more energy I have been walking my dogs more often than usual. I also have been writing in my journal and singing out loud. These are things that I find joy in, and they have been helping me remain calm. My anxieties may not be melting away, but I can keep them in check with my self-care practices, and so can you!
Next time you feel worked up or stressed out, I urge you to do something for yourself, by yourself. Give yourself the love and care you deserve and desire. It’s amazing how far a little self-honesty and willpower can go when you allow yourself the space to work on yourself. It is even more incredible to see the benefits stimulating you from the inside out!
