By Naomi Vargas, Lifestyle Writer
This past weekend, my mother, grandson, and I went to the International Balloon Fiesta in Albuquerque, New Mex. I had never attended before, and let me tell you, if you have not, you need to go yourself. It must be one of the most magical things to experience with all the different colored balloons. Just watching the drone show left me speechless. While in Albuquerque, we stayed and visited with my brother and his family.
Do you ever feel like you are intruding and want to just get your bags and leave running? This was me.
I have three brothers; they were raised with my mom, and I was raised by my grandmother. I always spent time with my mom and brothers, but for some reason now they have some sort of anger towards me. This makes me very sad, but they must come to terms that I did not choose how we or who we were raised by. I can understand the hurt they have as my mother always worked two jobs, and they were often left to fend for themselves. I, however, was raised by my grandmother who spoiled me and gave me an abundance of attention. I think they have always resented me because of this.
We were having such a wonderful weekend, and, while enjoying drinks and laughing, I happened to look down under my brother’s desk and saw a cooler I had purchased for my ex-boyfriend. This upset me as for weeks I have asked my brother if he and my ex-boyfriend still keep in touch, and he assured me he most definitely does not. My brother blatantly lied to my face, stating he purchased it at Walmart. His daughters then told me it was their Yeti. Mind you, it is, in fact, an Ozark from Walmart that I bought, and my ex-boyfriend put a sticker on it of a beer he drinks. I got so upset and cried myself to sleep. That night, if I slept at all it was about one hour. The following morning, my brother hardly spoke to me. In fact, I think he spoke maybe ten words to me the entire day. This really tore me up inside, because, sadly, I am someone who wears her heart on her sleeve.
As I watched the Balloons, I prayed for peace; I prayed God take my hurt up with those balloons and set it free. I guess I don’t understand how a blood relative, especially a brother, can hurt someone who is always there for them, through thick and thin. How could this person spend a second with a man that has destroyed me and taken so much from me with no remorse? The answer to this question lies somewhere above the clouds where I set it free with each balloon that went up. When I saw the last balloon go up, I told myself this is where you set free all the hurt, and in this balloon is your happiness.
I think tears cleanse our souls and clear our eyes to see through the pain of our lives to the other side where happiness lies. I wish every day that I wasn’t such a crybaby and didn’t get hurt so easily, but I was raised by a lady that taught me to love hard and be loyal and kind. So, for now, I will accept the lies my brother told me and try to understand that not all of us are the same. I hope that he finds whatever it is he is looking for in the friendship he has with the person who destroyed his only sister that has been there for him through it all. I will simply swallow and smile, and accept what is and what will never be.
I will try and understand why people choose to be the way they are, and be better.
